'Therapeutic parenting skills come to the fore' - Sylvia's insights

Sometimes, we have tricky situations where our therapeutic parenting skills come to the fore. We parent slightly differently as we realise that the feelings of security and attachment can be so low in care-experienced children.

Kindness, patience, and a sense of calm are very important during heightened times. This is not always easy, and Nexus Fostering is always there to help and support us and give us time to reflect afterwards.

One thing to consider is that you are working with the child in your home and the professionals around that child. You sometimes work closely with social workers, schools, and health professionals. You are that child’s advocate to speak up for them in meetings and help them get all the support they need. You will also be involved to some extent with the child’s family, taking your young person to see them, whether supervised or unsupervised by others. 

We have always found this positive, helpful, and important for the young person not to see any friction between you and their families. Whatever their past and feelings you may have, the young person usually has quite intense emotions, including loyalty and a sense of coming to terms with their past. We are here to help and support them with guidance and advice from the professionals working around them.

Nexus Fostering has always been involved in what we do. We have had a few difficult patches in our nearly six years of fostering, where emotions and feelings have been intense, but we have felt supported, listened to, and valued.

We have been given time to reflect on where we are, and the decisions made by our young people and the professionals working with them.

We are encouraged to take time out for ourselves, too, and that is something that is important, even if it is having time to read, go out for a walk, or meet up with friends. My new interest is going swimming, and over this past year, it has been beneficial for my physical and mental health as a way to “swim it all out” at times.

For anyone considering fostering, I would say talk to other foster carers and get as much information about the realities of it as you can. Talk to your family too. All our sons have been supportive and have built good relationships with our current teenager, sometimes spending time with him, taking him out and enquiring about his interests. They can see that it has not always been easy, but they can see how much we love what we do and can 100% see the value in it.

I would also encourage new foster carers to connect with others doing this to build a support network among themselves.

You need to have a place to go at times to rant, bounce ideas around, and gain valuable wisdom from someone who may be or has gone through something similar with their young person.

I love what we do, and even on the mundane days where you may think nothing much is happening, I can honestly say opening our home, hearts and lives to these young people can make a huge difference to them and also enrich our lives too.

Get in touch with us if you want to make a positive difference to a young person just like Syliva has - Contact Us | Nexus Fostering or find out more about therapeutic fostering - Therapeutic Fostering | Nexus Fostering