Maggie’s story of fostering and the power of respite care
Date published
16 April 2025
For Maggie, fostering is more than just a calling, it’s a way of life. After a 36-year career in social care, where she worked with looked-after children in various capacities, including as a social worker, team manager and independent reviewing officer, Maggie understood the challenges faced by children in care. But even with her extensive experience, she says “nothing could truly prepare her for the realities of living with traumatised children as a foster carer day in and day out”.
Maggie, aged 58, reflects, looking back on the beginning of her fostering journey in 2013, alongside her husband, Stephen.
“I felt like I had an insight into the needs of young people in care, I knew I had something to offer and could help, we had the space and the time to offer,”
From the start, the couple, who live in the West Midlands, understood the importance of offering a safe, loving home to children in need. But despite Maggie’s wealth of experience, the transition to fostering still came with its challenges, particularly for Stephen, a woodworker with little experience with children. “Sharing our home wasn’t unusual for us,” Maggie says, noting that prior to fostering, they had already welcomed 11 youth workers into their home as part of a local church initiative. “But my husband works with wood, and we hadn’t had our own children, so there was a lot to think about when we initially discussed fostering.”
Maggie had worked with children who had experienced trauma, so she was aware of the complexities that came with fostering. Yet, she admits, nothing could have fully prepared her for the intensity of trauma that many of the children they would care for had endured. “No one can ever prepare you for the level of trauma experienced by children until you live with it,” Maggie says.
As an experienced social worker, Maggie found the assessment process relatively easy to navigate. However, Stephen, whose work had previously been with wood, not children, found it more challenging.
“The assessment process was thorough, but it was easy for me to think in the correct ways, given my social work background. My husband, on the other hand, found it difficult as you have to be an open book in the process and consider your own parenting which is not something he had needed to think about before.”
Despite the hurdles, Maggie and Stephen were determined to make a difference. They began fostering and have since cared for 32 children over the past 12 years.
“We had a baby and a 6-year-old for 18 months, and while I absolutely loved that experience, it was so difficult letting go when it came to reunite the children with their elder sisters.
"However I felt immense joy in seeing children grow and thrive during their time with me. That’s when I decided that having babies wasn’t for me.”
Looking back on her experience, Maggie speaks highly of Nexus Fostering,
“Having come across many foster agencies in my 36 years of social work, Nexus is incredible. From the level of support they offer, to their approachability, networking, and creativity in the way they support foster carers, it's amazing. They really listen, and they have gone above and beyond for many of the young people I’ve had in my care,” Maggie says.
The couple’s fostering journey has seen them care for many children, offering both short-term, long- term and respite placements. The couple’s found their niche in providing respite care for other foster carers, offering a break for the children as well as the carers. This change of pace suits Maggie and Stephen well, allowing them to continue making a positive impact while balancing their own work commitments. Maggie now works part-time managing a local community hub and providing training, which means she can offer regular respite care when needed.
“Respite really works for us now,” Maggie explains. “I see myself as the fun auntie. I don’t have to worry about homework, or anything like that. What I do with one child will be completely different to the next. Every child that comes to stay has a very different experience, we adjust what we do depending on what they like and need. We are a laid-back, chilled household.”
Respite care, Maggie explains, offers children a break from their day-to-day lives and provides an opportunity for fun, rest, and relaxation. “It’s almost freeing,” Maggie says. “It’s different from having a child in your care full time. Some children that have come to me have had some really deep and meaningful conversations, sometimes it’s easier to talk to an outsider, someone they don’t have to face every day. Others, just come for a break or are placed as an emergency while further decisions are made about their next moves.”
Before any child arrives for respite, Maggie goes above and beyond to ensure they feel welcome. She spends time learning about their interests and favourite foods to ensure that their stay is as comfortable as possible. “I think it’s really important for the child to feel important,” she says. “I find out what they like, there’s a lot of planning that goes into it.” She remembers a recent placement where the young boy was passionate about football.
“He loved football, so we put football bedding in his room for when he arrived. It was a small touch, but it made a big difference. I even took one child to the Molineux Stadium- not my idea of fun but it was for him”
For Maggie, the most rewarding moments come when children feel empowered. “Seeing children’s faces light up when they feel confident to do something, that’s what makes it all worth it. Watching the joy when they realise, they can achieve anything.”
Maggie recalls a powerful moment with a young boy who stayed with her for three months. “He said to me, ‘Hopefully the next time I see you, I’ll be bringing my own children round.’ It wasn’t just a throwaway comment. He said it because he had trusted me enough with his life, and now he would trust me with his own children. It was such a powerful moment.”
Reflecting on her years of fostering, Maggie offers some practical advice to anyone considering becoming a foster carer. “Do your research, read as much as you can, and learn about trauma and how it presents itself in children. But most importantly, go for it,” she says.
“Fostering is challenging, unpredictable, but so fun and rewarding. It’s the little wins. Watching a child go from being withdrawn when they come to you to seeing them perform in a school play, that’s what makes it all worthwhile. Or just being able to manage their emotions better, its a win.”
For Maggie, fostering has been a journey of growth, compassion, and incredible rewards. “It’s very different from parenting your own children. Children in care have learned a certain style of parenting, and you have to help them unlearn and adapt to a new one. It’s not always easy but understanding trauma and how it manifests is one of the biggest challenges. You have to learn not to take things personally, remember, their behaviours are a response to the trauma they’ve experienced, not a reflection on you.”
Despite the challenges, Maggie’s heart is full. For her, fostering is about providing hope, love, and the opportunity for a fresh start for children who need it the most, it's a slow process.
“I’ve learned so much from fostering,” Maggie says, “It’s a privilege to be a part of these incredible children’s journeys. To see them grow and realise they can achieve anything, that’s what makes it all worth it.”
If Maggie and Stephen’s story has inspired you, and you have the time and space to offer respite care to children in need, we’d love to hear from you. Contact us today to find out how you can make a difference in a child's life.
Fostering stories
16 April 2025
