Love, resilience and dedication: Kim and Nicola’s inspiring fostering journey

Love, resilience and dedication: Kim and Nicola’s inspiring fostering journey

Kim, 54, and Nicola, 52, from Birmingham, began their fostering journey in January 2018 with the intention of specialising in parent and child fostering. Kim brought a wealth of experience from her long career in education, particularly working with children facing behavioural challenges and exclusions.

Reflecting on her time in schools, Kim said, "I had encountered many young pregnant girls who weren't receiving the support they needed. It was disheartening, and I grew frustrated. I knew we had the ability to make a difference."

After a recommendation from a friend, Kim and Nicola chose Nexus Fostering, but not before conducting extensive research to ensure it was the right agency for them. The couple found certain aspects of the fostering process challenging. “There were a few tears along the way, as it can feel a bit intrusive,” they admitted, “but there was never anything that caused us real concern. Nexus guided us through the process and explained everything clearly.”

"Throughout the process, we were particularly interested in Parent and Child Fostering, as I felt my skills would be well-suited to that," Kim shared. However, just before going to panel, they were approached about caring for a six-year-old boy. He arrived just weeks after their approval.

The couple recalled, “We were both so excited! We got his room ready and met him briefly during a school visit on Monday. He came for tea on Wednesday, and by Friday, he had officially moved in.”

Their young person is on a Nexus Care Plus placement, which offers a therapeutic support package tailored to the specific needs of each child. This service helps children regulate their emotions, manage stress, and develop a sense of self-worth, knowing they are deserving of love, care, and protection.

Kim explained, “We have a fortnightly appointment with the clinician, who has been an invaluable sounding board. She has suggested different ways to phrase things and helped us navigate some of the challenging behaviours we've encountered.”

With years of experience, Kim was accustomed to working with professionals in the fostering field, attending meetings, and handling administrative tasks. “I thought I knew everything about children and trauma,” she admitted, “but we found the first few years challenging.” Fortunately, with the strong support of the Nexus Fostering team, they were able to navigate those early difficulties. “He’s still with us all these years later, and he's doing well,” Kim added.

"When he first arrived, he was very shy, struggled with anxiety, and was sensitive to loud noises. He would lash out when he felt angry or scared, and he ate with his hands, sticking to only a few foods," the couple recalled. After a few months, they advocated for him to be placed in a specialist school, and he was later diagnosed with ADHD, Autism, and Learning Difficulties. "He's a little diamond and is doing so well now. With the support of Nexus, he has a fantastic team around him."

Now 13, they added, "Watching his confidence grow over the years has been incredible. It took years to help him build the foundational skills he was missing. We're so proud of him. He couldn't read until about a year ago and was working at the level of a 5-year-old. But now, the reports we get from school are amazing—he's thriving, glowing, and has such a positive, can-do attitude."

Kim tragically lost both her sister and mother within a short period and shared, “Nexus was incredible during this time; they provided us with so much support. That’s just the kind of company they are.”

Unlike other professions where time off for bereavement is possible, fostering required a different approach. Kim explained, “Our young man is part of the family, and he experienced the emotions with us, as he was very close to my mum and sister. It was a challenging time, but it also showed him that we’re human too. He was incredibly empathetic.”

Contact with birth family is a crucial part of fostering, supporting a child’s sense of identity and belonging. The couple explained, “Our young person is one of six siblings, all of whom are in care. He has contact with his birth mum and siblings six times a year. I also work closely with his siblings' foster carers to arrange additional visits during school holidays and weekends.”

Eighteen months ago, they welcomed a nine-year-old girl into their home. “Managing both of their contact schedules can be challenging at times, but they get along well and understand that they each have different needs.”

Both children are on Care Plus packages with Nexus, though their needs are quite different. “Our young girl struggles with mental health and has been offered equine therapy. We’re also working with Lifelong Links, as she comes from a large family,” the couple shared.

The couple are strong advocates for both of their young people children. “Our young girl is very academic and has dreams of going to university and traveling, so we’re working to set her up with the support of her wider family to be there for her once she turns 18,” they shared.

Reflecting on their young boy, they said, “Watching his confidence grow over the years has been incredible. It took years to provide him with the foundational skills he was missing. We’re so proud of him; he couldn’t read until about a year ago and was working at the level of a 5-year-old. Now, his reports are fantastic—he’s thriving and has such a positive, can-do attitude.”

Fostering has opened doors to experiences the children may not have had otherwise. “One highlight was taking our young boy to Australia. Seeing his eyes light up as he experienced everything was magical. My son and daughter live there and watching their relationship with him grow has been so special.”

Reflecting on one of the most memorable moments in their six years of fostering, the couple recalled, “Our boy loves boats, and while we were in Australia, the captain let him drive one. Seeing his face light up was emotional—he absolutely loved it.”

Kim also noted how fostering required her to adapt her approach to parenting. “I had to adjust my way of thinking compared to how I parented my birth children,” she said.

Kim began her fostering journey at 48, and during the first couple of years, she and Nicola sometimes questioned whether they were on the right path.

“Once you push through those challenging moments, you realise the incredible impact you’re having on the children’s lives. There’s a huge light at the end of the tunnel,” she reflected. “You have to fight for them, prove that they are worthy of love and happiness. It requires thinking outside the box and being resilient. Fostering involves so much more than people realise, but you’re breaking the cycle and showing these children what a stable family can be like. We just want them to have the best lives, filled with love and happiness.”

Kim also acknowledged how fostering has strengthened her personally and deepened her bond with Nicola. “I’ve discovered I’m stronger and more resilient than I ever thought. Our relationship has grown so much—Nic and I are such a solid team, always having each other’s backs. We know we can achieve anything when we put our minds to it.”

Kim and Nicola’s journey into fostering demonstrates the profound impact that love, resilience, and dedication can have on vulnerable children. Starting later in life, they embraced the challenges and joys of fostering, becoming advocates for the well-being of their young people while ensuring a sense of identity and belonging through contact with birth families. Their experiences show that fostering is about breaking cycles and building new foundations, as they nurture the academic and emotional growth of their children.

With unwavering support from Nexus Fostering, Kim and Nicola exemplify how it’s never too late to make a difference, remaining committed to providing their children with love and opportunities for a brighter future.

Get in touch with Nexus Fostering in Birmingham at 0121 427 2500, or visit their upcoming fostering drop-in morning at Harborne West, 326 High Street, Harborne, Birmingham B17 9PU, on Friday, November 1st, from 10:30 AM to 11:30 AM. This is a great opportunity to speak with professionals about becoming a foster carer.