I wasn’t a bad kid – I was a hurt one
Date published
16 April 2025
Hi. I’m 17. And for the longest time, I thought being in care meant I was broken.
I’ve moved through a few homes over the years, and I’ve seen the way people look at teenagers like me , especially when they hear I’m “in the system.” They expect trouble. They expect walls. They expect bad behaviour.
But here’s the truth: I wasn’t a bad kid. I was a hurt one.
We get stereotyped …fast. People think we’re angry, disrespectful, ungrateful, lazy… and yeah, sometimes we can act like that. But what you see on the outside is usually survival mode.
We’ve had to grow up fast. We've often seen or experienced things no one our age should; loss, neglect, abuse, rejection. So, yeah… we can come across guarded or loud or shut down. But it’s not because we’re difficult. It’s because we don’t always know how to trust people who say they’ll stick around.
The behaviours? They're not rebellion — they’re defence mechanisms.
Pushing boundaries – to see if you'll push us away.
Not opening up – because opening up got us hurt before.
Acting older than we are – because we had to be the adult at home.
Getting angry – because it’s safer than showing sadness.
Teenagers in care don’t need to be “fixed.”
They need to be understood.
One foster carer took the time to really see me, not just the behaviour, but the boy behind it. She didn’t take it personally when I tested her. She gave me space when I needed it and structure when I didn’t want it (but totally needed it). Most of all, she was consistent.
She showed me that love doesn’t disappear when you slam a door. That you can be angry and still be cared for. That my future could look different to my past.
I ended up in a home supported by Nexus Fostering, and that changed everything.
They didn’t just put me with any carer, they matched me with someone trained and supported to understand why I act the way I do. And they didn’t leave that carer to figure it out alone.
Ongoing training on trauma-informed care
24/7 support lines — for when it gets tough (because it does!)
Regular check-ins and respite care
A community of other carers you can talk to
Access to therapy and support services for young people like me
They don’t just support us, they equip carers to help us grow.
Because we’re worth it.
We’re on the edge of adulthood and your home could be the bridge between surviving and thriving.
You can help us learn the stuff no one taught us:
How to cook a proper meal
How to budget and apply for a job
How to talk through problems instead of bottling them up
How to believe in ourselves again
You can be the last stop before the real world. The person who helps us not just exist, but succeed.
There’s something powerful about watching a young person who’s had to fight their whole life… finally exhale. Finally feel safe enough to plan for the future.
When you foster a teenager, you’re not raising a child. You’re helping shape an adult.
You’re giving them the skills, and the belief, to do it on their own one day.
We don’t expect you to be perfect. We just want you to be real and stay.
If you’ve ever thought, “I’m too old,” “They won’t listen to me,” or “Teenagers are too much”. I get it. But maybe we’re exactly who you’re meant to help.
So if you’ve got room in your home, and patience in your heart, consider this your sign.
We don’t need heroes.
We just need humans who care.
Nexus Fostering is actively seeking foster carers who can support young people through life’s hardest years and into independence.
News
16 April 2025
