Gill and John found fulfilment in Parent and Child Fostering
Date published
22 October 2024
22 October 2024
Gill, 62, and John, 63, from Birmingham, began fostering in 2020 and have welcomed two mothers and their babies, as well as seven children for respite and short-term care.
John, who spent 37 years as a graphic designer, and Gill, a special needs teacher, felt inspired to foster after raising their three birth children. John said,
“I got tired of just pushing pixels around, and when Gill shared her stories about the children she taught, I wanted to pursue something more fulfilling.”
They described the fostering process as “thorough, relatively straightforward, but lengthy; we were eager to get started.” They chose Nexus Fostering after three agencies conducted initial visits, as the office was conveniently located nearby.
“Gill had significant experience working with teenagers with special educational needs, but we were open to caring for children of any age or needs at the outset to find the best fit for us.”
The couple has three birth children, aged 23, 29, and 30.
"Our initial experiences with fostering occurred during lockdown, which presented its own challenges but also some positive moments. A five-year-old boy stayed with us for a week for respite, and that was a great introduction to fostering. Then we had a 12-year-old girl, who has learning difficulties, with us for a month. Since our adult children were living at home during lockdown, we had extra support, and we all enjoyed a wonderful summer together."
After the two children in respite, they welcomed a nine-year-old boy through a Nexus 360 placement, a fostering service supervised by a qualified psychologist. This program provides an intensive support package for foster carers, allowing them to offer exceptional care to challenging young people as an alternative to residential facilities. John explained,
“This was extremely challenging, and Gill took early retirement to help. However, we struggled with his behaviours, and when our birth daughter announced she was moving out, we realised we hadn’t chosen fostering to disrupt our own family. In the end, we regrettably decided to give notice.”
They then welcomed a seventeen-year-old young man. John noted, “This situation was different from the other children we had cared for, as he had learning disabilities and medical needs. He stayed with us for 18 months, and when he turned eighteen, he moved in with his birth grandparents, which was his long-held wish.”
Shortly after, the couple went on holiday and by chance, spoke with other foster carers involved in Parent and Child Fostering (P & C).
“We thought this could work for us since these placements are short-term, and we could also enjoy a breaks away. It felt like we had finally found our calling,” they said.
In addition to Parent and Child training, they prepared their home for their first mother and baby. Gill remarked,
“Even though we’ve raised three birth children, the prospect of everything we needed can be quite overwhelming. It’s definitely an investment to purchase all the necessary equipment upfront, Facebook Marketplace became our best friend.”
John mentioned, “It can be difficult not to take over tasks like feeding, changing, and bathing, but our role is to serve as advisors and provide support.”
“Our first Parent and Child placement, the little baby was born the day we picked them up from the hospital. We helped the mother learn English, supported her with feeding, and established a routine. After six weeks, she was doing remarkably well, and the Birmingham Children’s Trust found her a place in a mother-and-baby unit. We were given just four days' notice, so we rushed to buy and pack all the essentials.”
Due to their experiences, the couple was recommended by their social worker for their next Parent and Child placement. John explained,
“The baby had been tube-fed in the hospital for six months, and they couldn’t find a home for him. We completed specific medical training, and he’s been with us ever since—he's truly part of the family now.”
After the court determined that the mother couldn’t care for the baby alone for various reasons, John and Gill committed to supporting both the mother and child. Gill shared, “The mother has been learning English and attending college. We decided to become Shared Life Carers, allowing her to continue living with us and her baby now that she’s eighteen. We’re doing our best to support them and keep them together for as long as we can.”
“Unfortunately, given our age, we can’t provide the baby with a permanent home, so we’ve decided that adoption or long-term foster care would be better for him. The mother will begin counselling, (for parents whose children have been adopted), next week, and in the meantime, we will support her for as long as she needs.”
Gill and John reflect, “While both Parent and Child placements have been quite different, the lack of sleep with a newborn aside, it can be very emotional to support both the mother and baby. We’ve become deeply invested in the mother, and hearing about her background and experiences can be incredibly challenging, as she has faced many hardships.”
One of their standout memories is,
“Our most recent baby spent his first birthday in the hospital undergoing major open-heart surgery. It went exceptionally well and seeing him improve has been wonderful; he has so much more energy now and can even stand up. Making a positive impact on both the baby's and the mother’s lives has been incredibly rewarding.”
“We can’t speak highly enough of Nexus Fostering; their support has been exceptional, from late-night calls at 2 a.m. to numerous emergency hospital visits with the baby. Our social worker, who has experience with children with disabilities, has been an invaluable source of knowledge, information, and guidance.”
As of 2023, about 80% of local authorities reported a need for more Parent and Child placements, indicating a shortfall of over 1,000 Parent and Child foster carers due to the increasing number of young parents entering the care system. The couple would recommend Parent and Child fostering, stating,
“You need a lot of patience, but the rewards far outweigh the challenges when you see the mother and baby move on to a happy and stable life or when the baby finds a forever home. During difficult times, it's important to acknowledge when you need respite, to not feel guilty about it, and to take that time to recharge. You'll return with a fresh perspective.”
Gill and John's journey into Parent and Child Fostering has not only brought them fulfilment but also allowed them to make a profound impact on the lives of the families they support.
If you have been inspired to welcome a parent and baby to your home and give parents the support and guidance to enable them to stay together then speak to one of our team today on 08003890143 or visit www.nexusfostering.co.uk.
Read more about Parent and Child Fostering here.
Fostering stories
22 October 2024
