Foster Carer embraces her role as a Mentor providing vital support for new Foster Carers

After six years, Foster Carer Deb takes on the role of Mentor for people in the assessment process and who are newly approved Foster Carers.

How it began

After making a fresh start in Norfolk, Deb decided to apply to become a foster carer, a dream she had held for a long time. Previously, she had been unable to pursue this goal because she didn't have a spare room, as her young daughter lived with her. Now, with her daughter grown up and moved out, Deb was ready for a new career. Her interest in fostering was reignited when she attended a jobs fair and noticed a fostering agency there. She knew this was her time to become a foster carer.

Choosing to foster with Nexus Fostering was a relatively easy decision for Deb. As she explored her options she recalls, “Nexus Fostering was the one for me, and I thought it would be a good match, so I put in my application.” She continues “I had a very normal and loving upbringing, but I think I thought I would have more than one child and I didn't, so I just thought, well, I would like to foster children and help.” Motivated and eager to make a difference, Deb saw fostering as the natural next step in her life.

Six years on

Now six years into her journey as a single foster carer, Deb has fostered many children and young people of various ages and for different lengths of time. This has included parent and child fostering, respite, and short-term fostering. Currently, Deb focuses on respite care while she embraces her additional role as a Mentor for Nexus Fostering. She has been matched with newly approved foster carer, Sarah.

Deb chose to become a mentor because she understands first-hand the importance of having a support network. Deb admits, 'I'm a single foster carer and I live alone, so it's a different kettle of fish. It's not always easy being a single foster carer, and I have got a tiny support network.' Over the years, she has learned how crucial help and support are when fostering, especially for those newly approved foster carers. The early stages involve learning lots of new information and adapting to a new way of working and living.

The role of a Mentor

As a mentor, you are carefully matched with someone currently in the assessment process of becoming a foster carer. This mentorship provides invaluable guidance and support during your assessment process and throughout your early years as an approved foster carer. It allows new carers to learn from the knowledge, skills, and experience of an experienced approved foster carer like Deb, who is there to support you with anything you need.

Deb was matched with Sarah, who was in the assessment stage of becoming a foster carer, and they immediately found the match to be perfect. They bonded quickly due to their similarities in personality and age, and both being single carers, they had much in common. This common ground has significantly strengthened their connection.

Sharing how she supports Sarah, Deb recalls, 'Being her mentor, we communicate a lot by WhatsApp most days. I am there for Sarah when she needs me, whether that is a small question or if she wants to help understand some jargon or how a particular process works.'  Sarah shared  'there is no magic to this matching. The match has been perfect, and we have been lucky.' Deb's reassurance has been crucial for Sarah, especially during the daunting early stages of fostering. Having a mentor helps alleviate first-time nerves by providing an extra layer of support. Deb remembers her own early days of fostering, when the influx of new information felt overwhelming. She appreciates the opportunity to help Sarah navigate this challenging period, as it also refreshes her own skills and knowledge. Deb says, 'Until you are fostering, you cannot know the whole system, but until you're doing it, that is when you learn everything else.'

A mentor needs to be a good listener. Deb says 'I am here as a listening ear; it's also to help with all the new things foster carers have to know, like acronyms, and there are a lot of new people you are introduced to, and I provide support on all of this.' She offers guidance on system processes and shares relatable experiences. If there is any uncertainty, Deb always refers Sarah back to her supervising social worker. Being a mentor is excellent for refreshing your skills and learning, and Deb has enjoyed using her knowledge. The role of a mentor is not to take over the role of a supervising social worker but is there as additional support for new foster carers. Having a mentor also allows foster carers during the assessment to discuss how they are finding the process and give feedback on anything they feel might benefit the foster carer for extra support.

Reflecting

Having the opportunity to help someone during the fostering process offers a great benefit in helping people feel a part of the fostering family. Deb shared that she has found it fulfilling to have somebody to pass on her knowledge to, sharing, ‘It's a real steep learning curve when you start fostering and all of a sudden you're provided with a lot of new information.' It also provides comfort when a foster carer's first child or young person is coming to live with them as a mentor can relate and provide a sense of ease.  

Another part of the support that a mentor can offer is advice on training. Deb shares a great piece of advice: 'Do as much training as possible when you begin. Navigate through the online systems and look into attachment training early on because that comes down the line, but you need to know a lot about attachment before your foster child arrives.' Meeting other foster carers at support groups, events at local offices, or outings is also beneficial. It helps new carers feel part of the Nexus Fostering community and build bonds, which are vital for support.

Deb has fully embraced the mentor role. She tells us, 'I've enjoyed giving as much as Sarah has received my support.' Both single carers, Deb and Sarah have bonded, and are thrilled with their match, saying, 'Whoever matched us did a great job.' With the pair meeting for lunch recently to catch-up, Deb looks forward to continuing to support Sarah.

Next, read how Sarah found being matched with Deb and embraced having a mentor when she was a newly approved foster carer. - "I know it was now the right time; it was my calling to start fostering.'' | Nexus Fostering