Family is not an important thing. It’s everything - Countryside Carer

Our Countryside Carer reveals if her siblings were reunited or not.

In a previous blog, I wrote about how a Together and Apart assessment was being carried out for my three young people and their brother who is currently at a different placement. The result of that assessment is in and it has been deemed that the children, can, indeed live together. Being the inexperienced foster carer that I am, I assumed that this would mean that things would be put in place for the transition of their brother and that, without doubt he would move in with us. How wrong I was. 

When a child is in foster care there are a considerable number of adults which work around this child to support them. These adults attend meetings about their education, health, extra curricula activities and their home life. These adults not only bring with them a wealth of knowledge and experience but also their own opinions. Opinions on how situations should be handled and opinions on what is best for the children. The children having all of these adults in consultation for the their best interests can only be a good thing. Every base is covered and every possible outcome is addressed. What is does mean is that things can often move slowly. 

I have noticed that the things that really make a difference, the moments which really cement their sibling relationships are the small day to day things.

We have now had their brother come and visit a few times for overnight stays and the time that the children spend together is solid, quality time. When the idea of them first all living together was raised my initial thought was ‘the big stuff’. Holidays together, Christmases, birthdays…and of course, all of those things are incredibly important, but, since we have been spending more time together I have noticed that the things that really make a difference, the moments which really cement their sibling relationships are the small day to day things. Their brother had never seen his sister play football and was amazed at her skill and speed when he came to watch on a Sunday. It was the Saturday night shouting scores at the T.V whilst watching Strictly Come Dancing together or the crazy conversations that are had around the dinner table over sausages and mash. I can’t explain the feeling my heart has when I see them together but it can only come close to explaining that I feel like it grows two sizes. It feels like there is a part of my heart missing and when they are together and I see them all, together, being treated as they should be that that part is returned. If that is how I feel then I can only imagine how it feels for them. 

Their brother coming to us full time is a process (I feel like I’ve said that a huge amount lately). It’s a process which requires patience, trust and teamwork. A process which, given time, will figure itself out and I know, in the long run, the hard work and sometimes frustration in the system, will be worth it.

Head to our Mentoring Scheme page to find out more on how you are supported when you foster with Nexus Fostering - Foster Carer Mentoring Scheme | Nexus Fostering