Building Bonds: Kerry and Darren's Heartfelt Fostering Story

Building Bonds: Kerry and Darren's Heartfelt Fostering Story

Gloucestershire couple, Kerry and Darren began to discuss fostering on their honeymoon in 2019. Encouraged by a close friend who was already fostering with Nexus Fostering, they decided to start the process themselves. Now, after helping their eldest foster child move on to university, they are preparing to welcome another child into their home.

"We’re both excited and nervous," said Kerry, "but I’m eager for the new journey ahead."

With over 860 children in care in Gloucestershire, and numbers rising by 11% each year, the need for foster carers is urgent. Reflecting on her experience, Kerry added;

"It’s incredible to know I've played a part in their growth and will always be part of their lives. I truly love fostering and wouldn’t change it for anything."

Kerry shared, "Before choosing Nexus Fostering, we thoroughly researched other local fostering agencies. What stood out with Nexus was the strong family atmosphere, which was important to us, especially with our six birth children. At the time, two of them were teenagers, aged 13 and 14, and it was crucial they felt included in the fostering process." After facing some initial challenges due to lockdown restrictions, they successfully went through the panel and were approved as foster carers in 2020.

Before fostering, Kerry had a 21-year career in Probate Law. Reflecting on her decision to switch paths, she said;

"I reached a point where I was working for a large company that didn’t truly care about its people. I realised I wanted to do something more fulfilling. My daughter encouraged me, saying, ‘Mom, you would be great at fostering.’”

Kerry explains that a huge part of their success as foster carers comes from the strong support they provide each other, saying, "Darren is my foundation. We work closely as a team, along with our social worker, to ensure the best care for the children."

After reviewing approximately 24 referrals following their approval, Kerry and Darren realised that children from primary school to teenage years would be the best fit for their family. They welcomed two siblings, aged 10 and 14, into their home. Recently, they supported the eldest sibling in transitioning to university. Reflecting on the experience, Kerry shared,

"It was absolutely gut-wrenching, but we have great relationship, and she knows she can always call us whenever she needs support."

Kerry reflects on the challenges of fostering, saying, "Often, the referrals don’t provide all the details about the children. Initially, we faced difficult behaviours, including self-harm, which was tough for us as new carers." She credits Nexus Fostering for their continuous support, adding,

"Nexus has been incredible, guiding us through everything. They’ve helped us navigate some tough situations. The knowledge and advocacy from our Supervising Social Workers have been invaluable, both for us and the children."

"In our family, we have three different surnames, and when our foster children first arrived, we explained that a family's foundation isn't defined by sharing the same surname—it's built on love, listening, compassion, care, and learning." Kerry believes fostering has instilled a deep sense of gratitude, empathy, and compassion in their birth children, strengthening family bonds. "Our birth children understand how fortunate they are and have become very protective of their foster siblings," she added.

Fostering can provide children and young people with incredible opportunities to thrive in a supportive family environment. Reflecting on her experience, Kerry said,

"It’s been a journey, but they are so resilient and have been wonderful kids. They’re settled, happy, have great friends, and are involved in numerous activities. The youngest is currently working on her Duke of Edinburgh Award, selecting her options, and excelling in school."

Kerry recalled the first night the siblings arrived. "The initial days were daunting, but I vividly remember what they wore and how they looked sitting on the sofa. I thought about what they had endured as we became their eleventh home, and I could only imagine how frightened they must have felt. Our biological children helped break the ice and took them to their rooms."

"We've had incredible moments as a family. They've learned to climb, kayak, and participate in Scouting. We've sent our eldest off to prom and celebrated her A Level results, while helping the youngest try new things and face her fears has also been a highlight. Our eldest foster child recently transitioned to female, and with the support of Nexus Fostering, Kerry reflects on this journey as one of her fondest memories.

“She is so confident now,” Kerry shares. “Towards the end of school, she courageously spoke in assembly about her experiences, saying, ‘This is me,’ and I couldn't have been prouder."

Foster carers are encouraged to foster a relationship with the birth parents of their foster children for several important reasons, as it can benefit both the child and the overall fostering experience. The couple has worked to strengthen their connection with the children's birth mother. "We coordinate the contact ourselves and proceed at the children's pace, understanding how crucial it is to encourage them to maintain a relationship with their birth parents."

Kerry recently lost her dad and shares how they managed the bereavement process while still being present for their foster children.

"The kids are part of the family and experienced the emotions alongside us. It demonstrated our humanity and showed them how to cope with trauma and grieve in a positive, empathetic way. Nexus provided incredible support in helping us through this."

The couple encourages locals to consider becoming foster carers. "I would highly recommend it if you're looking for a rewarding experience in every way. While fostering comes with its challenges, the journey is truly worthwhile, and you can make a significant positive impact on a young person's life. With the right agency behind you, the rewards are numerous. Nexus Fostering creates a family atmosphere, offering excellent training and support, and they include our biological children in outings and events for everyone."

If Kerry and Darren’s journey has inspired you, Nexus Fostering would love to hear from you! You can reach them at 01452 491 980 or visit their next drop-in session on Tuesday, October 1st, or Tuesday, November 5th, from 10 AM to 12 noon at their local office: Unit A5, Elmbridge Court, Cheltenham Road East, Gloucester, GL3 1JZ.