A new chapter - Geoff & Nicky's journey on fostering teenagers

Fostering teenagers

Nicky and Geoff's fostering journey with Nexus Fostering has been one of deep commitment and growth. After raising their two daughters, they decided to dedicate themselves to fostering nearly seven years ago. They embraced the challenges and rewards, supporting nine children and adopting a little boy they’ve cared for since he was just 10 days old.

A new chapter

Aware of the significant commitment, Nicky and Geoff waited until their daughters were teenagers before fostering, ensuring they could fully dedicate themselves to the role. They first broached the idea, began looking into fostering agencies, and contacted Nexus Fostering to learn more. Their 16-year-old daughter had some initial reservations, given the adjustment it would require from the entire family. However, fostering soon became a family endeavour, with everyone, including their daughter, who still lives at home, adapting to this new lifestyle. 

For Geoff, fostering led to a career shift. He left his factory job to work for the council and supports young people aged 16-18 leaving the care system. Alongside this Geoff also does outreach work for Nexus Fostering on occasions which fit in well with his fostering commitments. His outreach role involves taking children out for the day, offering their foster carers much-needed respite and providing bonding opportunities. This hands-on approach not only supports the children's physical and mental development but also helps rebuild trust with adults.

Nicky and Geoff’s fostering journey has been filled with both rewarding moments and some challenges. Geoff emphasises

'fostering shouldn’t be looked at through rose-tinted glasses, acknowledging the tough realities they've faced.'

Early on, they fostered a sibling group, but ultimately, the decision was made for one of the children to move into residential care. This experience was a learning moment for them as they wanted to welcome another child into the home as they had two spare bedrooms. They realised that matching foster children with those already in their home can be tricky, as personalities or needs may clash. Nicky and Geoff learned that fostering must work for everyone, including children already in the home. Another challenging situation Nicky recalls involved a young person throwing belongings out the window. She panicked, unsure how to respond, but Nexus Fostering provided helpful advice on remaining calm and "acting natural," which deescalated the behaviour. Over time, Nicky and Geoff adapted, learning to navigate children’s emotional and behavioural needs, many of which stem from past childhood traumas.

Fostering journey

There are many different types of fostering, and the fostering you do will depend on your availability, skills and dynamics of people already living at home. Nicky and Geoff mainly focus on fostering teenagers, which has varied in length depending on the young person's outcome. The longest period of time they have had a young person living with them was three years, which naturally came to an end when the young person had a reunion with their biological family. Nicky shares that

'several children they have cared for have returned to their families, which is a lovely part of fostering.'

Often, though, this outcome might not be the case for every person due to the severity of why the child or young person has come into foster care.

Fostering has become their full-time commitment as they focus on fostering teenagers. While fostering older children comes with its unique dynamics, Nicky and Geoff chose this path because they were already familiar with raising teenagers, thanks to their own daughters. They offer their foster children a balance of independence and support, helping with life skills like managing finances, building friendships, and developing healthy habits. Nicky shares,

‘it is a different type of bonding with a teenager than a younger person.’

They enjoy being able to help guide and support the young people in their care. Nicky points out the importance of treating teenagers with respect, saying, "You cannot baby a teenager; they need to spread their wings." The couple encourages age-appropriate independence while being available for guidance and emotional support. They've helped their foster children by setting up bank accounts, promoting hobbies, and fostering social interactions, such as sleepovers and clubs.

Maintaining relationships 

Throughout their fostering journey, Nicky and Geoff have felt supported by Nexus Fostering, primarily through their Supervising Social Worker and the team at their office in Norwich, who they know are available when they need guidance and a listening ear. While saying goodbye to a foster child is never easy, and they share they always have mixed emotions and tears have happened on many occasions, the couple continues to maintain relationships with many of the young people they’ve cared for in some shape or form, staying connected during times such as the holidays and get-togethers which the pair have many fond memories of throughout the years.

Currently, Nicky and Geoff are focusing on supporting their 15-year-old foster daughter, helping her navigate her final years of secondary school. They've formed a strong bond with her and hope she will stay with them until at least 18, continuing their role as loving and dedicated foster carers.

Find out more about our types of fostering - Types of Fostering | Nexus Fostering